I love affirmations with a caveat,
Our internal messages and beliefs override positive affirmations, so you need to find those you can believe at least until you heal the belief. For the past three years, my self-talk in the mirror has been, you got this! I wholeheartedly believed I had what it took to get through what life was throwing at me.
A few months back, my mom started a family book club. She purchased the Hi-five habit by Mel Robbins and wanted all of the women in the family to participate. What happened first was that I became painfully aware of how hard on myself I had become. I hated looking at myself in the morning, seeing the bags under my eyes, the extra weight I had gained, the jiggle of my arm when I Hi-fived the mirror.
Then my shame story started.
YOU KNOW BETTER CHANTEL!! YOU’RE A FAKE A FRAUD, and you promote authenticity and self-acceptance? You coach people on this stuff; how dare you gain this weight and talk to yourself like this?
I took a deep breath and said, it’s ok, Chantel. You’ve got this! You’ve been through a lot, a divorce, a move, a pandemic. I gave myself the same compassion I would show others.
I encouraged myself to look beyond my first self-judgement to see the woman with strength and wisdom. It took three months of doing this. Then I shocked myself when I looked in the mirror, smiled, hi-fived, and said I love you and am committed to your health and happiness. Whoa!
From so many of my courageous clients, I have learned that this self-love thing is about action. Words are not enough. So being committed to my health and happiness meant taking action.